Acceptance

The sound of applause filters into my consciousness. I chuckle at finding myself sleeping on the couch. I sit up and stretch, trying to recall what I had been dreaming about. Like a wisp of smoke, it dances out of reach.

I shift and feel something pressing into my backside. I turn slightly and push my hand under the back cushion to pull out the remote. “Is that where you were hiding?” I click the TV off and set the remote on the coffee table. 

In the silence, I can hear my cell phone start to ring in the kitchen.

I don’t want to get bogged down in memories on this stormy morning. Maybe I should make an omelet. Or maybe … a stack of my grape pancakes! I can imagine them melting in my mouth with a thick covering of syrup. Mmmm. Dad used to make them for me… Ugh! So aggravating to keep getting pulled back.

Maybe I need a distraction instead. I walk over to the TV and flip it on. It’s still on the Super Shopping Network. I stand there a moment listening to two women go on about how drastically their lives were changed by a salad bowl. 

I can’t find the remote. I shrug and lay out on the couch as the women go on to explain how if you act now, you can get the Tomato-Saver at half price.

I watch out the window as a lone bird makes its way through the storm. Is he traveling to safety? A mate, perhaps? What drives him to brave this storm?

My only answer is the patter of rain against my window seal. Lightening flashes once again and after a moment, thunder rumbles in the distance. The storm will pass soon enough.

I think back to when I was a little girl and the many storms that made up my life. Yes, all storms pass… 

Thunder cracks and rumbles! My eyes fly open and I spring up into a sitting position on my bed. The clock says 7am. The apartment is cool and quiet as I softly pad into the kitchen to get a better view. As thunder rumbles again, I feel chills rising on my arms. 

Today was a good day, despite that little run-in with Kendra. I don’t know how to feel about her. I want to think she is my friend but I just don’t feel like I can trust her with my feelings.

I grab the toothpaste and squeeze some on my toothbrush. I had a few anons ask me questions on my tumblr account. I put the toothpaste back in the cabinet and run my toothbrush under the faucet. I like when people can be respectful even when they don’t understand you.

I stare at my reflection as the toothpaste begins foaming in my mouth. What did Oslo think when he saw my face?

I head to the kitchen and begin humming to myself as I pull vegetables from the fridge. I read that stir fry was first introduced into the English language by Buwei Yang Chao, in her book How to Cook and Eat in Chinese. 

I don’t have a wok but my stainless steel does well enough. As the smell of spices hits the air, I toss everything in and begin to stir. The great thing about stir fry is that it cooks everything very quickly. 

I remove the pot from the burner and turn off the stove. Dinner tonight will be simple so I grab my plain dishes and start setting my solitary place at my table. 

After my shift is over, I meander back to my apartment. My head is still in the clouds thinking about Oslo, the guy from the salon.

Unlocking the door, Kia greets me with loud meowing. “Did you miss Momma?” I pick him up and snuggle him to my chest. “Let’s go get some food,” I whisper to him. 

I reach up in the cupboard for his kibble and slowly pour some into his bowl. He looks at it with disdain. “Well, that’s all you’re getting.” 

I am able to slide by Colby without incident. He looks distracted. I think about asking him if anything was wrong.

Wait. What if he’s still upset about Malik? Or maybe it would look like I am being nosy. I know I get aggravated at Kendra’s meddling.

I go round and round in my head until the moment has passed and a customer walks in.

I head upstairs to start the nightly routine.

“I am just going to head upstairs now so…”Kendra lifts her hands.

“Wait, wait, wait. That sounded bitchy but it just made some things click in my head. Look, I’m sorry. OK?”

I swallow a knot that has formed in my throat and nod silently. I push open the door and walk into the book side of Melton’s. 

I opt for the truth.

“A regular? So you have money to throw around then, huh? Figures. Why else would you only work part time even though you live on the high side of town.”

I can hear the derision in her voice. I never know how someone will react when they find out I really don’t have to work. My father saw to that.